This is why I'd never want to play God

Do you know this song? I couldn't find a video of Lyle Lovett doing it, but this guy is pretty good. Anyway, it reminds me of Are You There God, It's Me, Margaret. Because God listens and has sympathy for Margaret, but yeah...that's the difference between God and me! It also reminded me of this man in my church when I was a full-time pastor. He gave the senior pastor a mug that said on the side "Jesus Loves You" and then on the bottom when you tip it over, it said "Everyone else thinks your an *&%4hole". I'd like to give Margaret Simon that mug.

Okay. Went to Half Price Books and bought a copy of AYTGIMM for fifty cents. Be careful when you shop there. If you find a book you want, check the Clearance section, too. Instead of paying four or five bucks for the book, you just might find it there for fifty cents or a buck. That's what happened to me. Anyway I sat down and started to read it there since I was going to buy it anyway. Everyone probably knows the story but its about a sixth grader named Margaret who is about to turn twelve and who used to live in NYC but is starting her new school year in suburban New Jersey. She's an only child and going through the usual trials of growing up, fitting in, wearing a bra, etc. The added conflict that Margaret has is that she is trying to figure out if she wants to be Christian or Jewish or either. Her dad was raised Jewish. Her mom Christian but now they are neither. Margaret talks to God about her problems. My recollections that she and pretty much everyone else in the book are totally unlikable were totally right. I mean only a quarter the way through the book, I realized that no one in this book has any redeeming qualities. Oh well maybe that is harsh but suffice to say that there's no one in this book I'd like to be friends with or even meet! From dad to mom to all of Margaret's friends to Margaret herself who is even cynical and grumpy with salesclerks. Margaret goes through all of this pre-teen trauma that, when Winnie or even the less sympathetic, but perhaps more realistic, Dani, goes through it, you feel for them. When Margaret is treated a bit roughly by the even more unsympathetic Nancy, you just think who cares or no big deal because all the girls are jerks! These girls, including Margaret, are the kind of girls you'd want Winnie to stay away from in school! I know that's realistic for girls to be mean. I mean The Girls where mean. But you knew why. And even when you didn't know why you still felt bad for one or two of them when the others are being mean. This is kinda like Pre-teen Zombie Blondes from the zombie point of view except these totally ick girls are supposed to be human! Ha!

I have no idea why I feel this way about this book when no one else in the world seems to. I have even read this book about ten times and I never liked Margaret or anyone else. Maybe I liked it and read it so much for the same reason I like movies like The Strangers. Yes. That must be it. Actually I can see all of the Pre-Teen Sensations, which is the name of the coven that Margaret and her friends belong to, joining the Manson Family. They are just that way.

Speaking of God, thank God its a short book. I wouldn't want to waste anymore of my life than I already did on this junk. The last half of the book was just as nuts as the first. Nasty Christian people wanting to convert Margaret. Nasty Jewish grandmother wanting to convert Margaret. As if anyone would want Margaret to be a part of the same zip code they lived in let alone attend their church or temple! Flat supporting characters. Margaret going on about how some kid in her class is a drip. A drip? Well at least he isn't a sociopath like Margaret and the rest of the beastly and thoroughly boring Pre-teen Sensations. Ugh. You know, I know a lot of teens who go right from kid lit to adult books, skipping the whole teen lit thing. I can definitely see the merit in doing this backwhen this kind of schlock was all there was to read. But now YA literature is so compelling and so fresh and creative, it would be a shame to miss it. Judy Blume books shouldn't be banned. No. They should be a cautionary tale. Or a lesson on how truly bad YA lit once was. Blah.

There's also stuff in here that's been updated from its first printing. When the book came out, Margaret and her friends had to use belts with their pads. I remember reading this book when I was about eight or nine maybe and even then there were no more belts but my mom explained them to me. Well in the 90s Blume updated her book, taking out the belts. This was controversial. I think the book is so bad I don't want to even waste this much space and time on it, so I'm not going to weigh in on either side, but my question is, if you're going to update such junk anyway, why not take out the ridiculous dated statement about tampons being for 'considerably older' girls? I mean come on! And why was this book banned anyway? For almost putting people to sleep? Whatever. Fortunately like I mentioned, I spent fifty cents on this book. Unfortunately, it was forty nine cents too much!