How I have learned

 I haven’t posted in years now, I suppose. I don’t foresee posting a lot, or maybe even one more time after this one, but I just had to set something right.

In Sunday School we are reading Full Hearted Faith by the late Rachel Held Evans.  Evans was a brave and influential woman of faith, having escaped evangelical Christianity and then writing and speaking about her journey.  This is the only book I have read by Evans so far and we are only on the fifth chapter.

So far I have enjoyed listening to the book and discussing it in class, but I haven’t felt very deeply connected to much of it on a personal level.  I didn’t grow up “in the church,” having come to faith in middle school, attending Youth Group with a friend.  So I was not raised in a faith community at all, and my parents were very socially liberal and inclusive, they especially did not buy into the nationalistic, small-minded anti-intellectualism of right-wing Christianity.  

Until I finished this chapter on Jonathan Edwards I had forgotten about how I used to believe and even joke about the “Calvinist/Presbyterian answer to ‘why do bad things happen to good people?’ - there are no good people.”

I bought into the whole concept of “total depravity.”  Or at least I gave lip service to it.  And I am very sorry for that and for anyone I might have misled.

Original sin is simply not true.  Original goodness- that is the truth.  Maybe I had to be older to understand.  To remember that we are created in God’s holy image.

I guess deep down I always believed that- certainly for other people (me I have always had my doubts about my own goodness!) but I do believe that we do the best we can with the information and strength we have at the time.

God walks with us, and loves us, all of us, all the way. And for that I am so grateful. 

Well...it happened

Yes.  When people in hospitals are presenting with confusion, doctors all across America will ask, "Who is the President?"  The answer is now President Joseph R. Biden.  And I am so grateful.  Indescribably grateful.  The day was glorious.  Already President Biden and his administration have begun the work (SO MUCH WORK) needed to undo the horrors of the previous administration. 

But there is still so much division.  There is still so much hate.  There is still so much fear.   

Church leaders MUST speak up.  Again, those who were part of the terrorism that occurred in Washington a week prior to the inauguration claim to be people of faith.  Church leaders and people of faith MUST respond.  

Please, please if you attend a church were this is not being addressed, please have a talk with your pastor.  Ask him or her to remember how churches in Germany failed to speak up.  We are in crisis.   

Please.  

We can be sad but we can't despair

When my mom and I would get super sad in the last years of our living together, we would remind each other, "We can be sad, but we can't despair.  We can be angry, but we can't despair.  We can cry, but we can't despair."

Despair is the complete loss of hope. And we can't lose hope.  Because there is no need to lose hope.  Because love wins.  It always wins.  Love won.  The truth is that everything will be okay in the end.  And actually, everything will be okay NOW when we surrender to love.

Every decision, every action made in love is the right one.  

I am horrified by the actions of 45 and so many leaders in our country.  I am horrified by the man who lives two streets away from me, who had taken down his giant 45 sign about two weeks ago and put it up again last night.  

I am more horrified by the silence from churches.  These people who support 45 claim to be church-going, God-loving people.  Where are the church leaders?  My pastor put this out there yesterday:

The events unfolding in Washington D.C. challenge all people of faith to step forward for justice and stand down from any semblance of violence. The seditious mob action in our nation’s capital seeks to undermine both our democratic principles and our Christian values. It cannot and must not succeed.

Scripture is clear. Demagogues and false idols clinging to power have no place in Christ’s beloved community. Inciting mobs with lies and self-serving rhetoric has no place in the lexicon of prophetic faith. The actions of a misguided few shall not dissuade us from the larger work of Christian witness, healing and justice.

Let us pray together for peace - for our nation’s better angels to guide us in the days ahead - for the safety of elected officials and citizens - for an end to racist acts of division and discord - and for the true light of the Savior, who still breaks the bonds of all tombs of death and delusion, to shine brightly upon this nation and all people. May it be so. 

- Rev. Randy Bush, pastor East Liberty Presbyterian Church

Why didn't EVERY pastor say something similar?  Why?  I can only think fear kept them from doing it.  Fear of making people upset.  Fear of losing church members.  I pray they will not fear.  I pray they will do the right thing.  

I am sickened that so many still see 45's actions as not okay okay but laudable.  

BUT I WILL NOT DESPAIR. 

I will not abandon hope.  

There is no need.

Love wins.

Love is winning.

Love.

Love.

Love.

May the supporters of 45 and may 45 himself feel LOVE.  May they remember and internalize the truth:  they are created in the image of God (Love) and they can grow into that image by LOVING.  

Love.

Love.

Love.

Speak up, pastors and leaders.  

Speak up.  

Pressure

 

We have all felt pressure.  Internal, external, real, imagined, overblown, under shot, we have felt it. 

But can you even begin to imagine what things are like in Calendar World for 2021?  This poor dude...

We all couldn't wait for 2020 to end with the hope that 2021 would bring better health, better leadership, more love, more kindness.  

So have a good thought for 2021.  

He can't make it a good year by himself.  He needs out help!

Running Outside

One of the best things I did last year was find a guy named Jake Lowe.  Running with Jake is his podcast and I have learned so much from it, even though I am not a real runner.  I call what I do lumbering, because I am so very slow.  At least so far I am consistent though! I do 3.5 miles outside, six days a week and 4 miles indoors once a week.  Been at it since last January, after missing almost 9 months of running because of a fall.  Prior to my fall (which was not an injury- just a really public embarrassing fall!) I was five miles a day, outside, for two years.  I can’t do five any more...I lost a lot of fitness and confidence in that time off, even though I treadmilled and ellipticaled...it just wasn’t the same...

Anyway..Running with Jake I can whole heartedly recommend for runners or lumberers or plodders of any speed.

Today I was able to run in the park and my phone battery was such that I had to turn off the podcast to which I was listening.  And you know...it was lovely and peaceful and maybe I will try it again.

I guess I don’t often like to be alone with my thoughts, but today was okay.! 

Happy Blue Year!

 

2021 and we may really get our country back! A Blue White House!  

EPIC FAIL!

Oh I had such hopes for 2020!  We all have high hopes when the new year begins, right?  I mean, I ever used an optimist image!  

But then...there was Covid.  But even if there hadn't been Covid, how could I have been so optimistic when it was also an election year.  And what a horrible mess that was.  Yet what a wonderful result!  Too good to be true!  And I do worry that The Evil Cheeto will stop President-Elect Biden and Vice President-Elect Harris from taking office, but I am thankful that so many people turned away from evil, turned away from greed, turned away from hate and turned to love.  SO many people!  

My pastor, Rev. Dr. Randy Bush at East Liberty Presbyterian Church gave a beautiful message on Christmas Eve.  Here is one part that I found so moving:

Mary and Joseph, the shepherds, the magi—like us they walked in darkness. But they were not destined to be defined by the darkness—and neither are we. In the words of the Welsh poet Dylan Thomas, Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light. Darkness is something we push back against. We let our pupils widen and we accustom our eyes to the darkness so that we can still make out shapes amid the shadows and find a way forward even when it’s difficult. Thankfully we have not let the darkness of the past months defeat us. If you can hear my voice, you have not withdrawn into the shadows but have chosen to stay connected—to be part of the body of Christ worshiping and praying for a hurting world. You have seen the nobility of spirit residing in those around us who serve the common good in thankless jobs—who stock shelves, clean hospital floors, teach in schools, parent full-time and work fulltime from the same kitchen tables. Despite this year’s isolation, after the death of George Floyd we broke the silence to cry out that Black Lives Matter and flooded the streets in protest. Despite our political cynicism, we voted in numbers not seen in over 120 years. Despite prejudices that would despise the stranger and the migrant, the global pandemic has shown us that borders are human chalk lines pretending to be walls—for if one person, one child anywhere, is at risk, all our lives are touched. That is why we have not gone quietly into that good night. By God’s grace, we know this world holds more than darkness and disruption.

It reminded me of what I need to remember every moment of every day, even as hateful people still fly their Evil Cheeto flags and their All Lives Matter signs sit along side manger scenes on their lawns that have Back the Blue signs next to notices that their homes are protected by security.  Hmm...black the Blue...but let me just protect my gun case and my autographed picture of Clint Eastwood.  

Ah but here lies the problem that I still have...I have such anger in my heart for those who claim to follow Christ and yet support this man who is responsible for so much hate and destruction.  And I don't know what to do with that.  

But John Lewis had an idea:  

Study the path of others to make your way easier and more abundant. Lean toward the whispers of your own heart, discover the universal truth, and follow its dictates. Know that the truth always leads to love and the perpetuation of peace. Its products are never bitterness and strife. Clothe yourself in the work of love, in the revolutionary work of nonviolent resistance against evil. Anchor the eternity of love in your own soul and embed this planet with goodness. Release the need to hate, to harbor division, and the enticement of revenge. Release all bitterness. Hold only love, only peace in your heart, knowing that the battle of good to overcome evil is already won. Choose confrontation wisely, but when it is your time don’t be afraid to stand up, speak up, and speak out against injustice. And if you follow your truth down the road to peace and the affirmation of love, if you shine like a beacon for all to see, then the poetry of all the great dreamers and philosophers is yours to manifest in a nation, a world community, and a Beloved Community that is finally at peace with itself.  from  John Lewis with Brenda Jones, Across That Bridge: A Vision for Change and the Future of America (Hachette Books: 2017, ©2012), 208.

And so I will keep trying, trying to live in the love that I claim is so important to me.  And I will stop raising my middle finger at the houses that are still decorated with signs that support the horrors we have experienced these past four years.

As for this blog...well, at this writing I have blogged about my reading through mid-June.  I have read 198 books and some have been incredible.  But I have not written about more than half of them.

And I can't pretend I will continue with any regularity.  But I will be recording my reading on goodreads, for what that is worth!

And so I leave you with this for now...

Neurodiverse

After reading Tornado Brain I found out about the term neurodiverse. Now I say right out that I am not

neurodiverse.  The main character of the book, Frankie a seventh grader, is and I do know people who would fall under the term, if it is applied in the way I have seen it defined.  Saying that, I like the term, because it seems to negate the idea idea ADHD and autism aren't abnormal, they are just part of the spectrum of the diversity of human brain function.  I think that any time we stand up and say, "You aren't weird, or your way isn't the 'different' way just because it is different from my way" we are on the way to recognizing our oneness.  We are on the way to remembering that we are all created by the same Loving and All-Good Creator, the image of that Loving and All-Good Creator and therefore we are all good as well and then our job is grow in the likeness of our Loving Creator.  We must affirm our own and one another's holy personhood, our place in the collective family of God.

For me as a Christian, I follow Jesus, Love in the flesh and see the way He lived in the world and try to act as He did.  But now I am off on a tangent-- so let me get back.

When we stop saying "abnormal" when we stop "us" and "them"ing our siblings, we live are getting better.  We are growing into the likeness of the Love that made us all.  

And so for me, is a good term.