Right Now

I am feeling a little blue in the love department.  Every relationship has ups and downs though and this is a very uncertain time in the world.  So I am not hitting the panic button!  But as soon as I started to write up my thoughts on Tell Me Lies, I thought of this song.
It has NOTHING to do with this book and doesn't really apply at all to my relationship, but it is a sad lost love song and so it popped into my head. Great song.  Sad song.  Great, though.
I found this book to be great as well! 
Creepy and excellent ending!  Well worth the listen!

Heroes Come in All Shapes and Sizes

and since no one is perfect but Jesus and Fit and Trim David Levithan, heroes are going to have problems like everyone else.  The Unlikely Hero of Room 13B was an incredible book.  I wish I would have read it sooner.  Another one of those "heart" books, breaking and warming.  Very well done. 

A Castrophist!

Petula is one for sure!  I can't say I blame her.   Optimists Die First was a really good story.  There are a lot of books with similar subjects, nothing new under the sun, right?  But this was a really good book and most certainly have that feeling of "why bother to write a book about this when it has already been done better?"  It's first love, and parents and fear and friendship and all of that, rolled into loss of a loved one and guilt.

Heart-breaking and Real

Holding on to Zoe is a great book.  It is short and meaningful and complex but simple and really, really good and painful.  I was so into the characters that I really wanted to scream at the mother.  What a ridiculous woman.  But a real woman.  First of all she is an unthinking, selfish moron.  She should be a foster parent.  She is the next best thing though, a social worker.  First she ain't too bright.  Here's how serious moronic she is:  she was a secretary, when the husband leaves she decides she needs to make more money and so she goes to college to be a social worker.

Because going into social work should be about the money.

Because social workers make a lot of money.

What a moron.

But I know people like this.  So I found her character to be very realistic.  She makes fun of the people she is supposed to be helping.  She has no compassion at all.  And she was dumb enough to go into it because she didn't have money!  You go into a job like that to help people!  Knowing that you WON'T make any money.  Could this woman be anymore ridiculous?  Could she be anymore life-like?  Great character, albeit a truly evil one.  She is so cruel to her daughter.  And she has psychological problems of her own but did she get help for them?  No!  Instead she chose to help others.  What a buffoon. So real.  

Don't get me wrong, I am sure there are good social workers out there.  I just don't hold much stock in the whole deal.  You go into social work for selfless reasons, not to feel good about yourself or make money.  Also you have to be totally mentally capable.  Too many people who and social workers actually NEED social workers.
Enough with the rant.  I don't want to give too much away, but Jules is a girl with a horrible, selfish mother who gets pregnant and the baby means everything to her.  And wow...just read it!

Alone Together - Maybe what my problem is

I think I realized that maybe I disagree with Turkle sometimes because she is a big believer in psychoanalysis, psychotherapy, etc. and I have my doubts on the effectiveness of talk therapy. I'm not one of those militant anti-psychiatry people. It's just that man...I've known some pretty.... well...not so great therapists. Some therapists who probably, really, should be IN therapy instead of offering therapy. I do believe that psychiatric drugs can be very, very helpful when used correctly. I am a firm believer in that. Someone who needs an anti-depressant needs that just as much as a diabetic needs diabetic medication. It's just the therapy part that I have trouble believing in, because yeah...there are a lot of nutty therapists out there. And a lot of therapists who just aren't so bright. There's nothing wrong with being not so bright! I'm not so bright! But I'm not a therapist, trying to help people figure out their problems!

So while Turkle laments that talking to a computer about one's problems is not the same as talking to a therapist about one's problems, because the computer isn't "real" and doesn't "care," I have to say that I know a lot of therapists- human ones- who don't care. They joke about their clients behind their backs, they get paid to listen to people and some won't see a client when the money runs out. So a computer.....well....they aren't really keeping their eye on the clock or checking the checkbook balance, right? So they at least have THAT going for them!

Now I know, I know there are probably a TON of great, caring, wonderful therapists out there. But man...there are quite a few who are far less than that. Some therapists I know remind me of the emotional vampires (literally, you have to read the book - I'm not using that term as a pejorative) in this great book by Patrick Jones.

But now that I think about this, and write it out, Turkle probably wouldn't argue with me on this point. She would probably say that we expect too little of our therapists, so we see computers as a better alternative. And she'd be right in my case. So maybe my point is, instead of turning to computers for therapy we need to make sure that only the best of the best become therapists. That therapists themselves have to see a therapist. That they have to prove and continue to prove that they are bright enough, caring enough, social enough to really be a GREAT therapist. I say GREAT because remember, good isn't good enough.