Many Reasons

There are many unfair reasons why I didn't like Invisible Girls:  a memoir.

For one, I immediately thought of Kate Bowler when I read this book.  Two young women of faith, hit hard with horrible cancer.  The thing is, Sarah Thebarge is no Kate Bowler, but that isn't fair because Kate Bowler is matchless.

It also isn't fair that even though Thebarge says that she has escaped from Christian fundamentalism, she is still too fundamentalist for me.

But I think there are other reasons why I didn't like the book that are valid.  I found Thebarge to be more of a white savior figure than anything else.  I also found some of her decisions regarding her interaction with Hadhi's family to be super judgy and ridiculous.  For one, the tv show depicting domestic violence, the one that she didn't want Hadhi's kids to see?  Pretty much ignoring the whole truth that these kids have seen this and worse violence in real life.  And then, she is pleased when Hadhi turns the tv to Spongebob Squarepants.  Um.  Okay.

This just wasn't my thing.  I have incredible sympathy for Thebarge and for all of the trials that she has gone through with her horrible disease.  Don't get me wrong.  And I also think that what she did with and for Hadhi and her children was quite commendable and far more than I could ever do.  And it is clear that she is God's hands and feet in this world.  I just think that her editors did her an injustice.  I don't think that someone who has such a giving heart meant to come across like she did-- a white savior and full of "pat myself on the back" moments and ugh, that ending- I think that a better editor would have helped her share her heart in maybe a way more like the person she seems to be.

They say that actions speak louder than words, right?  And Thebarge's actions are just wow, I admire her so much and it makes me want to be that kind of person, but the words with which she told her story, they fell short.  And that's too bad.

Sadly too, she is misguided in that she attends a church which does NOT  understand that God cares THAT we love, not WHOM we love.  It is one of those churches where the pastor believes that what body parts one has should determine whether or not love is Godly.

As for Ms. Thebarge, she can follow James Dobson on that issue.  I will follow Jesus Christ.

I can't recommend this book.

Mark 9:42

Everything Happens for a Reason:  And Other Lies I've Loved was an incredible, beautiful and heart-breaking.  I had heard Kate Bowler on Fresh Air and read the book right away.  This is a must-read.  What a brave, incredible woman of God.  It's lies like "Everything happens for a reason.," that have caused many to stumble.  And that is very sad.
But what a testimony this is.  Kate Bowler is truly God's voice in this world. 

One of those books

When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanaithi will always, always stay with me.  What an incredible book.  The best book I have read this year.  The afterward, written by his wife, Lucy is so powerful as well.
This is a must read for everyone.  Not just people of faith, but definitely for people of faith.  Not just for people who are afraid of death, but definitely for people for are.  Just a fantastic, fantastic book. I look forward to meeting Dr. Paul on the other side of the Jordan.

If you have ever been there....

Joanie Deluca and me :) 

If you have ever had a close friend with a life-threatening illness, you will be blown away by Melissa Kantor's Maybe One Day.  That doesn't mean that won't enjoy the book if you haven't been there.  In fact, I think this is a book that everyone can relate to in some way.  And even if they can't, they will be moved by it.  I've enjoyed every book by Kantor that I've read and was disappointed when I learned that she wasn't planning on another book about The Darlings.  I had emailed her to see if there was another one in the works and she kindly took the time to write back to me.
Zoe and Olivia are best friends and have been forever.  They were ballet students together and had planned to make it their career, but didn't make the cut.  Olivia has dealt with it, but Zoe is still grieving.  Then Olivia learns that she has leukemia.  What follows is just so real and so painful and hopeful and horrible and beautiful.  Books don't usually make me cry.  But man, having gone through this with my own best friend...the waiting for tests, the treatments, the hanging on every word of the doctor.  It brought back a lot of memories.  So well done.  So very well done.